Why a confidence coach?
Why should you work with a self-confidence coach?
Because the lack of self-confidence is the first cause of professional or personal failure and it is without any doubt the decisive element that you must absolutely learn to master if you really want to succeed in life.
Because when your confidence level is low you feel like you have less control over your life, in fact as shown by (Coffeea et al., 2009; Gilbert and Malone, 1995) people with low self-confidence tend to see their lives as dependent on external forces having a greater impact on their lives than their own decisions.
The level of confidence you have in your ability to accomplish exactly what you want is constantly changing and depends on your ability to succeed in your personal and professional projects.
A confidence coach can really help you if you are going through a rough time in your personal or professional life and you need some help to improve your self-confidence. Because life challenges are many, a confidence coach has developed a specific method to help you round problems in your work and private life. Here are just some examples in which a confidence coach can help you :
- Gaining confident at work
- Gaining confidence as entrepreneur
- Feeling confident in job interviews
- Feeling confident in your present love relationship
- Learning to say no to others when needed
- Living by your own personal and professional life standards
- Enjoying to go beyond your limits
- Feeling confident with your appearance
- Being confident with women or men
- Being confident with your ability to get things done
- Feeling at ease when meeting new people
- Being confident with relationships
- Eliminating the influence from other people’s negative opinions
These are just some of the concerns you could experience in your life, but a confidence coach can guide you in many other features.
What is self-confidence?
According to Perry (2011) self-confidence is a perceived measure of belief in one’s own abilities, which depends on context and environment.
This means that you can have different levels of self-confidence depending on the situation and the people you interact with.
What is important to remember in this definition is that you can increase your self-confidence:
- by acting on the way you perceive a given situation
- by preparing to better act in a given context
- by acting on your belief about what you think you can accomplish
Is confidence coaching really effective?
Surely not if you are not motivated enough to change your life quickly!
A confidence coach can’t do things at your place and can’t help you if you are not really ready for change right now!
But if you have really decided to finally live your life in your terms, a confidence coach can certainly help you create the life you want and deserve.
How does confidence coaching work?
A confidence coach facilitates your change process by building with you an action plan and a strategy consistent with your life values. This way, a confidence coach allows you to be more effective by concentrating all your skills in the right direction.
How much will confidence coaching cost me?
We offer you 15 minutes online confidence coaching session in order to clarify your goals and allow you to evaluate the potential of our coaching services. Feel free to write us in order to get your free online coaching session with a confidence coach.
Some practical tips to improve your self-confidence
Here are some practical tips from science and my own coaching experience that will help you build self-confidence.
1 – Nurture the habit of positive internal dialogue
Self-confidence is influenced by the way we communicate with ourselves, in other words our internal dialogue.
Hatzigeorgiadis, Zourbanos, Mpoumpaki and Theodorakis (2008) show that internal dialogue can improve self-confidence and reduce cognitive anxiety. Specifically, internal dialogue has a positive effect on task performance, increases self-confidence, reduces cognitive anxiety, and changes in task performance is related to changes in self-confidence. According to Johnson, Hrycaiko, Johnson, and Hallas (2004) the core of inner dialogue is that focusing on the desired thought leads to the desired behavior.
Practical tip: Become aware of your inner dialogue
Start to become aware of how you communicate with yourself. Do this for both positive and negative internal dialogue. Here is a table you can complete to become aware of how you use positive internal dialogue to your advantage.
Complete this table for each of the components of the positive internal dialogue.
First, focus on what you are already doing well as this is important for building self-esteem and avoiding self-sabotage.
Then, be honest with yourself and identify a specific area that you can begin to improve.
Then, give yourself an overall rating for that skill. For example, if your overall score is 6, set a goal of getting to 7 by defining what you need to accomplish to achieve that result.
After you have identified this action, schedule it in your to-do list and then in your agenda and take action.
Finally, take some time to understand what you have learned about yourself by taking this action.
Finally, follow the same procedure for all aspects of positive internal dialogue.
2 – Build your discipline
Owens (1993) shows that people with more self-confidence tend to value self-control.
If you want to know more about how to improve your self-control, I suggest you read my article on how to be more disciplined in your life: the ultimate guide.
As long as becoming more disciplined has a positive effect on implementing positive behaviors and outcomes, if you improve your self-control, it will also help you build confidence.
Practical tip: Identify an area of your life in which you want to become more disciplined
I suggest you use the following table to start improving self-discipline.
After selecting a specific area of your life that you want to become more disciplined in, start with what you are already doing well.
Then write down what you would like to improve. Give yourself an overall score and set a goal to improve from a 6 to a 7.
In fact, focusing on a small improvement is much easier than setting a goal that is too difficult to achieve.
The important thing here is to focus on the improvement and this will result in an increase in self-confidence.
Then, identify one or more actions that will allow you to reach your mini-goal quickly and efficiently.
Plan this action in your to-do list and in your agenda. If you don’t know how to use a to-do list, I suggest you read the article how to make an effective to-do list for a better quality of life.
Finally, take the time to become aware of what you have learned about yourself and how you can use what you have learned to become more confident.
3 – Become aware of your inner talents
You have unique qualities, abilities that characterize you and differentiate you from the majority of people in your professional or personal environment.
Even if you think that you don’t have any special qualities and that you are an ordinary person, I assure you that you think that because you don’t know yourself well enough or because you tend to minimize your abilities and results.
You have these abilities, they are so deep-rooted in you that they are integrated into your identity and personality.
An effective way to become aware of your unique abilities is to take advantage of the supportive opinions from the people closest to you.
Think about the qualities that others recognize in you, write a list of these qualities or characteristics without leaving anything out.
Another way to understand what makes you special is to think of all the things you like to do that you can do easily, effortlessly, and better than others.
Finally, you can focus on the accomplishments you are proud of.
By becoming aware of your innate talents day by day, you will be able to build both self-esteem and self-confidence.
4 – Understand the impact of your identity
Each person develops an identity during his or her life, that is to say, an idea :
- of the individual they think they are
- of what they are able to accomplish
- of what they think they deserve
The identity is composed of a set of beliefs and rules that define what is possible and right for a given person.
Each individual has both functional and dysfunctional aspects of their identity.
When you have beliefs that help you get out of your comfort zone and rules that allow you to be happy in your life, your identity is positive.
On the contrary, when some beliefs limit your existence and some personal rules make you suffer, everything gets complicated in your life.
Becoming aware of these negative elements is the starting point for any personal or professional change.
You now understand that sometimes you lack self-confidence and self-esteem because of some aspects of your identity that limit the expression of your potential and the satisfaction in your life.
5 – Use the power of visualization to your advantage
Hanton & al (2004) show that visualization is one of the most effective strategies used by athletes to manage their confidence level.
These athletes use their imagination to manage their emotions, to focus on what they can control, on past successes, or on positive factors that reassure them.
If you have a strong drop in self-confidence it is because you use visualization to focus on your poor performance and results.
As a result, you feel unpleasant emotions, you feel powerless about what is happening to you, you feel stressed and you start to self-doubt.
Do like these athletes!
Use your brain to your advantage by focusing on your past accomplishments, on things in your life that help you manage your emotions, on things you can control or influence.
By doing this, you will experience different emotions, you will improve your internal dialogue, you will strengthen your motivation and you will regain the confidence to continue to take the right actions required for your fulfillment.
If you have not yet experienced success in a given situation, you can use your imagination to create that success before it happens in reality.
A visualization is an excellent tool for building self-confidence. In this sense, Munroe-Chandler & al (2008) show that mental imagery or visualization helps build self-confidence.
Before you face a situation that you have doubts about or that stresses you out, you can start practicing visualization.
Define the result you would like to achieve and repeat your daily visualization in which you act as you wish.
Try to experience the emotions you would like to experience in reality.
If you can’t visualize everything perfectly right away, keep practicing, and don’t give up!
Also, focus on what you hear and all the other senses to make this experience as real as possible.
By continuing to practice this exercise, you will be able to integrate visualization into your habits and maximize your chances of success.
6 – Get support from caring people
Having a good level of self-confidence does not only depend on internal factors. Your entourage can also influence you positively or negatively.
In this sense, Rees & Freeman (2015) show that the support of others reduces the negative impact that stress has on self-confidence.
In summary, perceived social support and having the support of others help protect self-confidence from the negative effects of stress.
If you want to maintain a good level of self-confidence, especially in times of high stress, you can select a list of caring people in your personal or professional circles who will help you deal with the most difficult moments.
7 – Focus on your progress
When you lack self-confidence, you tend to think about your failures, your weaknesses, etc.
As a result, you feel like you’ve put in a lot of effort for nothing.
This is exactly the type of situation you have experienced when you have not succeeded in reaching one of your goals in the desired time.
In order to get out of this negative loop, it is important to evaluate yourself in a more objective and kind way and therefore to stop judging yourself.
If you start to focus on your progress and what you have learned about yourself, you will start to experience more pleasant emotions.
First, congratulate yourself on this progress.
Second, forgive yourself for what didn’t work out as you wanted.
Finally, put in place an action plan that will allow you to reach your goal in a more reasonable time frame.
Plan those actions in your to-do list and agenda, take action and do the best you can.
Are you ready to take action?
If you want to take advantage of the expertise of a coach, write to us now using our contact form, call us at +33 6 69 46 03 79 or contact us on WhatsApp at +33 6 69 46 03 79.
Read this page in other languages
Français : Coach confiance en soi : 7 conseils d’un coach en estime de soi
Italiano: Fiducia in se stessi