10 effective tips on how to get over shyness
How to get over shyness when you have been shy for so many years?
Before we get to the tips, I’d like to remind you that you can take advantage of the expertise of a confidence coach to better manage your timidness.
Find out right away how to stop being shy with tips and exercises to feel more comfortable in your private and professional life.
1 – Shyness is temporary and under your control
To overcome your shyness you must stop believing that being shy will be a permanent situation in your life.
If you don’t change this belief, you will never do anything to improve yourself.
You will always find justifications for not taking the necessary actions to strengthen your communication and self-confidence.
If you simply accept your shyness as a kind of limitation that does not depend on you, you will not make progress in your personal and professional life.
When you understand that your timidity is only temporary, you are more motivated to engage in a personal growth process.
It is by taking back your responsibility that you will be able to take the necessary actions to change.
Practical tip
Take a step back in time and remember all the progress you have made in your personal or professional life.
This improvement is proof that you have the power to overcome your shyness.
Now that you realize that you can change, take at least one action to modify an aspect of your personal or professional life.
2 – Shyness can be cured a little bit every day
To overcome your shyness, you don’t have to change everything overnight.
You should not force the change. If you do, you will quickly become demotivated by the disappointment of not being able to change your personality quickly.
Moreover, you will be tired because of the stress caused by this behavior.
Instead of moving forward, you will feel completely unable to progress in your professional and personal life.
If, on the contrary, you engage in a regular and progressive process of continuous improvement, you will strengthen your motivation day after day.
You will be able to implement mini changes and as a result, you will feel much more satisfied with yourself.
In the end, you will be full of energy and wake up every day excited to start a new day.
Practical tip
Choose an area of your life that you want to change first.
Define exactly what change you want to implement.
Then, begin by defining an action plan to execute.
The plan should include a series of things you need to do to stop being shy in that area of your life.
Finally, take the first action, even if it’s a small one, and continue with the other actions every day.
3 – Get over the fear of other people’s judgment
To overcome shyness and feel comfortable, you absolutely must stop being so influenced by the opinions of others.
If you continue to give others the power to decide how to live your life, you will never be happy.
Furthermore, the fear of judgment will cause you to be stuck and not take action to overcome your shyness.
If, on the other hand, you decide to behave in a way that respects your personal values, you will be able to live in accordance with your character and enhance your personality.
You will feel proud of yourself and more comfortable with others.
In the end, you will improve both your personal and professional life.
Practical tip
Make a list of all the non-constructive criticisms you have received.
Then, for each criticism, find at least 2 or 3 reasons, which contradict these same criticisms.
If specific feedback is helpful, think about what you can do to improve yourself and do something right away to increase your confidence.
Then allow yourself to do something you’ve been putting off for a long time for fear of others’ judgment.
Take action and congratulate yourself on your courage!
4 – Overcome the fear of not being good enough
To overcome your shyness, you must overcome the fear of not being capable of taking advantage of the opportunities that will come your way.
If you only see your weaknesses and forget your strengths, you won’t make much progress in your life.
In addition, thinking about your weaknesses all the time will make you lose all motivation to act and change your life.
But if you decide to focus on your qualities, you will be more motivated to change your situation.
You will be full of energy and more willing to go the extra mile.
Practical tip
Make a list of all your strengths and use them in your daily life to overcome your shyness.
Complete the list of your strengths by asking people who appreciate you to give you at least one other quality.
5 – Shyness does not affect every area of your life
Shyness does not affect every aspect of your existence.
You may be shy in some situations while in others you feel perfectly comfortable.
The difference between these situations is your preparation and therefore the social skills you have developed through your wider experience.
This means that if you want to feel comfortable in difficult situations, you should challenge yourself as much as possible.
In this way, you will gain experience and social skills.
These social skills are the key to living the life you deserve.
Practical tip
Identify the social skills you possess in the areas of life in which you are comfortable.
Then, transfer, adapt, and use those skills, that you find useful, in situations that are challenging for you.
6 – Control your breathing and take action
To overcome your shyness, you can improve the quality of your breathing when you feel you are struggling in a particular situation.
When your shyness prevents you from doing what you really want to do, your breathing tends to be shallower and your heartbeat tends to speed up.
You may experience several physiological reactions such as blushing, shaking legs, clammy hands, difficulty breathing properly, etc.
In addition, if your breathing becomes excessively fast, you will speak too quickly, your speech will become difficult to understand and your communication will be inefficient.
If, on the other hand, you breathe deeply before you start speaking, you will feel less worried you will communicate your message more easily.
If deep breathing doesn’t work for you and you can’t do what you want to do (for example, talk to someone you don’t know), stop thinking, and as soon as you see that person, talk to them immediately.
Practical tip
Practice every day to take a deep breath before taking an action that makes you feel uncomfortable.
You can also act without thinking to overcome blocks that prevent you from living the life you have been dreaming of for a very long time.
These two techniques can also be combined for better results.
7 – Use visualization
To overcome your shyness, you can use visualization.
You imagine yourself in a given situation as if you were watching a movie in which you are playing yourself.
This technique has been widely used in many fields and especially by athletes around the world.
The advantage of this method is that it allows you to set the stage for your actions by working on your subconscious.
This way, a good part of your conscious limitations lose their influence and you become more capable of stepping out of your comfort zone.
Practical tip
Close your eyes and imagine yourself in a situation that is important to you but in which you feel uncomfortable.
Try to experience the event as you wish it would unfold in your life.
Focus on this experience to make it as clear as possible.
Then challenge yourself and take action in real life.
You’ll see that you will be considerably less shy.
8 – Act as a group
If at the moment taking action by yourself is too difficult for you, you can always use the power of a group.
All you have to do is find a friend who wants to feel more comfortable with others like you, and challenge each other.
This way, you will be more action-oriented and less influenced by your shyness.
Ideally, you should switch between the two in order to avoid one of you being passive.
The goal of this cooperation is to enjoy engaging with others even if the results are not immediately outstanding.
Practical tip
Schedule regular meetings with one or more people who share your goals.
Do this for 3 months at a rate of once a week to create the habit of communicating with new people.
9 – Learn from your actions and persevere
If you’ve read this long article, you’ve probably realized that overcoming your shyness starts with the choice to take back control of your life.
How do you overcome shyness?
You must choose to change what you don’t like about yourself and follow a personal development journey.
In other words, it means taking actions that make you temporarily uncomfortable.
This is essential because it is in the discomfort that you will learn to improve.
The feedback you receive along the way will help you feel more and more comfortable and proud of yourself!
At times, you may feel like giving up, but don’t lose your momentum!
It is by persevering that great changes occur!
Always keep taking action and you will succeed in overcoming your shyness.
Practical tip
Take notes of all your actions, all your learning, and all your thoughts.
Measure your progress and congratulate yourself each time you make progress.
By doing this, you will feel more and more motivated.
When you feel like giving up, review your accomplishments.
Then write down your fears and negative thoughts on a piece of paper.
Do something to deal with that fear and write down your actions on your to-do list.
This will help you to manage your lack of motivation.
10 – Be kind to yourself
You can’t control your shyness if you don’t treat yourself well.
In order to feel comfortable relating to others, you first need to ensure the quality of the most important relationship in your life, that is, the one you have with yourself.
An effective way to measure the quality of your inner communication is to become aware of your internal dialogue.
Notice both the positive and negative elements of your internal communication, but don’t judge yourself, just observe.
If you wish, you can focus on topics that come up frequently to check if they are linked to a belief that may be blocking your evolution.
If you are in doubt, you can take advantage of the expertise of a life coach to make faster progress.
Practical tip
I suggest you write down parts of your internal dialogue, especially those that have a negative effect on your motivation.
Then, read these sentences aloud in order to become aware of the fact that they are only words and consequently, they no longer have a negative effect on you.
Rewrite these sentences, transforming them into positive beliefs that reinforce your desire to feel comfortable with yourself and others.
11 – Stop identifying yourself with your shyness
You are not your shyness and you are not just a shy person.
You are much more than that but over time you have begun to identify yourself as a shy individual.
You are a multitude of choices and behaviors. Therefore, by establishing this limited identity you are reducing your potential and the totality of the richness that your life has to offer.
You need to become aware of all the specifics of your personality.
Practical tip
Notice when you tend to limit yourself in the way you speak, think or act.
Also observe what others say about you when they try to define or limit you.
Whether these statements come from you or others, find an alternative meaning or explanation that allows you to come to a more accurate understanding of yourself.
12 – Bring out new parts of your personality
You have developed the habit of behaving in a way that is specific to you and that differentiates you from others.
But over the years, you have forgotten or put aside certain aspects of your personality.
You may have decided to conform to the demands of some people or to some professional or personal environments.
Without realizing it, you have let some parts of yourself die.
But to overcome your shyness you need to become yourself again and this sometimes requires bringing back parts of your personality.
Practical tip
Take some time to remember some dimensions of your personality that you have given less and less space in your life.
Then write a list of these aspects and decide which ones you are willing to integrate into your daily life.
Choose one aspect and act in a way that is consistent with it.
Do the same for all the other aspects that are important to you.
Conclusion on how to overcome shyness
In summary, being shy is not a weakness but just a part of your personality that you can improve if you want to take advantage of both personal and professional opportunities.
Overcoming your shyness, therefore, requires you to take back control of your life by:
- making better decisions
- developing better habits
- taking more effective actions
- developing better social skills
If you want to take advantage of the expertise of a coach, write us now by using our contact form to book your first free consultation or call us by phone or WhatsApp at +33 6 69 46 03 79.
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Read this article in other languages
Français : Comment vaincre sa timidité ? 12 conseils efficaces et faciles !
Italiano: Come vincere la timidezza: 12 consigli efficaci e facili da seguire!